|Posted on February 19, 2013 at 11:15 PM|
About the time you begin to feel comfortable with Child Protective Services (CPS), you are doing everything they want you to, they have promised to return your children in a timely manner, or you think they have, you get a new worker and its back to step one. They may not even like you, and threaten to never return your children. Did I mention you should hire a really good lawyer if you can afford it? There are always bumps in the road and lawyers familiar with the agency can help you live through them. There is no easy way around it, it is emotionally exhausting. It is truly a handicapping situation. You will get first hand experience what it is like to be handicapped, and in the worse way. You live each day as if it is the first day of the horror story, and no end in view. It can feel like a kidnapping with no ransom or changing ransoms. How do you live through hell? One day at a time. Hour by hour entertaining yourself and controlling yourself, learning new things. Keep a journal, talk to your children in the journal. Someday they will be old enough to wonder what happened, why you abandoned them. They can read your journal and begin to understand. It will be healing down the road. It will also help you organize your thoughts and feelings and taking part in the reality of the future. I have never lost my children but I have lived through it with many many people. It can be a time of growth, a growth your children will need when they do return. You are handicapped and so are your children, and you will want to share the experiences with them so they can heal. When we re-experience things in safety the brain heals by letting go of the pain.