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A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

The distance between our head and our heart isn't far, but sometimes making that trip is a challenge.

Choose to love on purpose today.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 1, 2012 at 11:23 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

How much one loves is caused by genetics, by family love, by the way they think, and what they do to learn about others. Depending on their personality they will respond to all four of these differently. Some people are more observant of others by nature, others more loving by nature, others think a lot by nature, and others act well by nature. Some are too tired, or depressed by nature to act.  So they each react differently to how they are raised, dwell on different things, think deeply or not, react differently.

 

So the Journey to Happiness, the Journey to growing up and adjusting to others and to life is very different for everyone. But by being aware of the differences and working on ourselves to improve what we observe, feel, think, or do we can make that Journey from the body, to the heart, to the head more fun and successful. This is what my web sites and blogs are about. And when we understand others weaknesses and strengths we know better how to help them too. And together we can accomplish even more. Where do you want to begin?


June 1, 2012 at 12:21 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

How can you say that love is caused by genetics as if love is biological rather than from the heart? I agree that nature plays a role but to me love is a choice.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 5, 2012 at 12:04 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

I did not say love is caused by genetics, but love is biological, it is a feeling we get when certain hormones and chemicals are formed. What triggers love is human perception of baby like cuteness, touch, emotional tone, what others say that is comforting, and being touched.

 

We can choose to expose ourselves to these stimulants so we feel love. We choose not to entertain thoughts that distort loving feelings, like negative aggressive thoughts. When we have a child we can gaze upon their cuteness, touch them, hear their cuddly voices and cute expressions, remind ourselves to be kind and nurturing to them.


June 6, 2012 at 11:55 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

I had to look up the word biological...it means the study of living organisms. Biogenics means something produced by the living organism or something essential for maintaining the fundamental life processes. Love is essential for maintaining a good life!
All Those babies who pee and poo and throw up on you..we love them in spite of their shortcomings.:)

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 7, 2012 at 2:31 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

I

If people have not bonded with the children it is not so impressive. The bonding, the holding and loving the children, the gazing at them with loving family ideas is what gives us the stamina to live through the sickness and less pleasant parts of raising children. So love must be nurtured.

 

When I worked at a hospital a couple had not bonded with their baby before birth because the wife had been rapped and they assumed the rapist was the father. At birth the child looked exactly like the father. There was no doubt the child was his and not the rapist was from another racial group. But the chores of a new baby was more work then the bonding. The baby was failing to thrive as they were not holding their son enough. It took them awhile to muster up enough bonding for the baby to want to live.

 

Moral of story, we must work at loving others, look at others worth, allow ourselves to feel loving emotions, entertain the right thoughts, and interact with them. Then loves grows, it is biologically based.


June 7, 2012 at 11:55 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

I agree with you that we must work at loving others. For those who are spiritual, God gave Love as commandment. Which means love is an active choice. You choose to love. it is not an easy choice but it is worth it!

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 22, 2012 at 11:44 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

So how do you go about that? Share with others your wisdom. I tend to look into their eyes and picture them as babies so caring and innocent, feel the love their mothers and fathers felt, remind myself that everyone does what they think is right for the time and moment and if they do not do what works that it is only ignorance of how to change their bad habits, and smile and enjoy who they are. If they are yelling and cursing I look for the pain under their anger and worry a bit about them. They will calm down, can't last forever, let them exhaust their pent up bad emotions. Does wonders. 

June 22, 2012 at 12:50 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

That is an interesting take on love. I'll have to try it. 

Being kind, showing that you care, giving, being patience, staying peaceful is all a part of love. It is not always easy but it is worth it.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 25, 2012 at 1:14 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

So, lets get back to the comment you made way back about family and friends refusing to accept love. What is their pain or pains? Give us some examples of unreasonable people and how to or not to handle them. Oh, I know what it was, they argue no matter what you do. Lets analyze them a bit. If you avoid this question again we need to look at why.

June 26, 2012 at 11:17 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Some people lie. Some people steal. Some people are just mean. Some people argue. Some people are just stupid.  You have no control over what other people do,
How do we handle them? We only can control our own emotions.  Learning to control emotions is a on-going process. It is growth.
As I said before, this is an open forum and I donot talk in specifics about family or friends. Sorry if you disagree with me on this but that is how I feel about it.  

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

June 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM Flag Quote & Reply

realsisters2@gmail.com
Member
Posts: 259

I agree, but my husband could care less what I say, as long as I do not mention his name. I think he gets a kick out of my musings about him. He thinks my gossip is a waste of his time. But how else am I to understand him if I do not share my thoughts with others for their feedback. Its a learning experience, don't you think so?

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June 28, 2012 at 11:18 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

No one is asking you to indulge in names or places. After all you are not even using your real name, or so I assume. If you describe someone's behaviors you are only speculating and it affects no one unless they know who you are, they know the specifics, and are following this forum. Otherwise only you know who or what you are making reference to. But describing blow by blow or word by word, even if totally made up, gives us something to respond to that fits reality better, your reality, how you perceive the world.

 

So when I ask what is their pain, just categorize how you feel others pain is made out of in general, say grief, or flashbacks of childhood, or physical pain, or situational, or beliefs, etc. What are others stupid about? The more you define a state of being the better it is to try and suggest how to handle it. Then you will have more control over others in the positive way that you want. Then you do not feel so helpless with others. People lie, steal, argue, and are mean for reasons. If we know those reasons we can better respond in a way that they can respond better back.

 

Someone asked me how I could counsel people if they only came to me and lied to me. But everything they say, lie, or make up is of themselves. It reveals their perception, emotions, beliefs, and habits. That is all we are ever looking at. And how they perceive, feel, think, and do determines how much control they have over others. And when you look at yourself closer then other people begin to make more sense. That is what gives you more control over them and over yourself.


June 28, 2012 at 12:07 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

MOTHER TERESA'S, A VERY LOVING PERSON'S, ADVICE ON LIFE.


“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.”

― Mother Teresa


Life is learning to do all these things but with and in LOVE!

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

November 13, 2012 at 1:30 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Question: How do we learn to do all these things?

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

November 13, 2012 at 1:34 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

I will start with 'Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.' Then I will go to each of the other sayings and give my take on how do you do these things, and with love as you request.

 

Lets use my four step formula to answer, the four steps being: perceive, emotional response, thoughts and beliefs, and acting on it.

Perception: you have to look for opportunity. This is the hardest step. You almost need to know what you are looking for. But lets say you do not. The best way to start looking is through the rose colored glasses of your passions, talents, interests. Lets say you are an artist, and you want a creative career. Research, what kind of jobs already exist out there for artists, what kind of education does it take, how did they get started, etc. etc. etc. How can you modify their jobs to better accommodate your interests, stretch those thoughts to the limits of your ability. It may be you will come up with new jobs to create. What educational tools do you need to enroll in to get a better feel for the art markets. etc.

 

You then look at your emotions. Are you scared to try, doubt if you can do it? Of course you do because you have no idea how to get there. Research and take things at a pace you can handle. Dwell on your love for art, what it does for you. Your desire has to outstrip your fears. Dwell only on the fears and you are dead in the water, dwell on the possibilities and you get courage.

 

There are a lot of beliefs that will stop you, such as 'Artists are lazy, there is no use for art, it will never pay off, others will think I am stupid to try, etc. Well, each of those thought you may come up with need to be challenged and not just believed. Yes, many have tried and failed, but many have tried with success. What is it you have to offer to others in art that they will buy your treasures? The more you read and study about art, the markets, others, and the more you brainstorm the better you will get at seeing opportunities.

 

Then there has to be the fourth step, take a step. Risk trying something, classes, a business of your own. If you feel you failed, oh well, it taught you a lot of useful things. Go back to step one, look for what went wrong, what worked, what to try next. Don't dwell on the negative but on the positive, change your way of thinking about it and risk another step. Remember, successful people make more mistakes and fail more often because they do not give up. The only failure is to give up. Some people take a life time to learn what it takes to meet those dreams, if they do not reach them I hope they wrote about it so others can learn from them and go on from there, is that not what science does? Try, fail, publish, others succeed from there. It is an on going process and in that sense is never a failure for the human race. How many famous heroes died without knowing they were? Lots. If you are doing what really excites the best in you others take notice and learn.

 

Yes, I know, you want to make money at it. Well, look, be brave, think, and risk trying and you will at least survive and had a lot of meaningful fun rather then sitting depressed and feeling horrible.


November 15, 2012 at 12:37 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

 

Mother Teresa: 'Life is beauty, admire it.' You asked me how and how with love.

Lets look at the four Psychotoons four steps. First is perception. When we look for beauty we find it. Mother Teresa all but said all of life is beautiful. The essence of life is beautiful. Beauty is found in all of life. We could say life is beautiful when it admires beauty. One of the lessons art students are given is to find a repulsive scene and sit and find and reproduce with art the beauty you see.


Step two is fear or love. Fear looks for the worst, that is its job. Love calms fear, if we love our enemies we can see them as lovely and that puts up in a frame of mind to help our enemies in such a way that they too can love, and then they are not enemies. The incidents in war when both sides set down their weapons to celebrate Christmas day together, to share and admire what Christmas stands for. When I have to counsel a street bum who stances and perhaps is a pedophile I can not help them until I can admire them as a desperate human, but a human. I gaze into their eyes and think about a young woman who was their mother and how she gazed at her baby and he gazed back. Then I look at all the circumstances that stopped that tiny little infant from maintaining such beauty in his life. Then I admire the beauty he could find again, and the beauty in all of life, even the one that has fallen.


Your beliefs must be beautiful to see and admire beauty. Mother Teresa had Godly eyes, a Godly heart, and Godly beliefs about the beauty of life which lead her into doing Godly acts helping so many children grow up admiring beauty. Religions help people see the beauty and admire it. We have to view others, love others, think about others, and help others as she did. Then life becomes beauty to admire. Beliefs tell us how to see, feel, and act, even what to believe. Be careful what thoughts you entertain and expand on, it tints the rest of your life. If it is negative you need to challenge it and try to understand life in a more pleasant and productive way that helps you and those you interact with to find positive beauty. Explore your thoughts and piece together the ones that are helpful, and read and research the believes of loving people such as Mother Teresa.


If this answer is not what you are looking for let me know. Otherwise I will continue.



November 16, 2012 at 10:23 AM Flag Quote & Reply

realsisters2@gmail.com
Member
Posts: 259

Ok, ok already, are you going to go through the whole darn thing and say the same things over and over. Lets get real and cut this off, I just want to know why life is a dream and dispense with the four stages, I get the point of the four stages. Mother Teresa was great but lets get back to a conversation rather then a dissertation. You might throw in life is a game too, a dreamy game or a gamy dream? I think the game of life is dog eat dog and the dream is hoping it is not going to happen to me or a nightmare that it is happening to me. Oh, yah, you can throw in love, to love or to love it or what ever Realsisters wanted.

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November 19, 2012 at 9:39 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Bob
Member
Posts: 23

What is this love stuff? You women like to get all gooey over love. That is depressing. We need to be warriors and fight. This society is way to feminine. You beat us guys down with this love stuff. Why does there always have to be love involved? Life is dog eat dog, and the only dream is that love cures it all. How depressing.

November 19, 2012 at 10:22 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

Life is a dream, or we could say our perception of life is like a dream, we create it more then it is created by reality. So men see it differently then women do, men, like Bob, may see it as dog eat dog and needing to be shaped up by fighting, and women like Joyful Messenger may still see it as dog eat dog but see's the solution to conflict as spreading love rather then fighting. Mother Teresa may have said 'Life is a Dream, realize it' so that we do not mistaken life to be what we dream about it. If we are open minded we will see more to life then we dream it to be. Women will see love and men may see fighting but in reality life has both those aspects. Perhaps we need to fight and to love. I must say there is probably more love in the world then fighting and that can be a very healthy thing esp. with children.

 

So, Bob, women tend to talk love more then men because they raise children. Little girls talk more of love and little boys enjoy love but talk fighting more then little girls. It is depressing for a man to see the dream world of women as all love. And it is depressing for women to see the dream world of men as all fight. We often must fight to preserve the right to love freely. What a paradox.

November 20, 2012 at 3:59 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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