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Forum Home > A-Z Psychology > Faith, forgiveness, fortitude vs fear

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Okay Dr. Ruth, I filled out the finally filled out the Fafsa form.

I took a step of faith. The Apostle Paul said that faith with out works is dead.

Jas 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

Jas 2:18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

I just hope it works...

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

February 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Excellent. Most likely your grants will go through. If not you look at why and apply for loans. Faith now, the loans are low interest, so low it is like earning money as the cost of inflation is greater. Your first reaction may be, but what if I can not pay them back. Let the future be what it is going to be. If you fear it and neglect it, for sure it will be what you do not want. I believe to get the loan you have to have been accepted by the university. Have you? If you have not applied hurry and do so.

 

In the meanwhile remember when you go you explore job possibilities and change your classes accordingly to obtain those jobs or even change your major to fit the up and coming job markets that you want. There are always branches of the path you want you to go. Becoming a teacher would allow you to apply at christian schools to teach children if you like them. You could be a christian lobbyist. Teach music. I am just grabbing at unknown straws, you can explore your possibilities as you complete your studies.

 

I believe the Bible does not teach you that the going will be easy, just satisfying and rewarding. It can be easy and fun, but it is your faith that leads you forward to do works. And you find the works as you go. We all want a totally predictable future and the only one we can really predict is failure to do anything and just hang around expecting and doing nothing. But that is a bummer for sure. Live and learn is another saying. Good and excellent my friend.


February 6, 2012 at 12:28 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

There are so many people that are bitter because of things that have happened to them. They have not forgiven the person they were in conflict with or who has done bad things to them. So the brain stews a toxic mix of hatred, bitterness, revenge. Forgiveness does not mean I have to trust you again but it says I won't harbor the toxic stew in my heart. I had to learn that when something bad happens: bad relationships the brain wants to stew on all the bad things. So what I would say when these thought invaded was : I Love and forgive the person, or thing that has come against me. I pray for them. It helped me tremendosly!

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

February 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

It is easy to forgive children because they often do not know what they are doing. Somewhere we got the erroneous idea that an adult should know better. But when did the moment of perfection happen? At 18? One day we are children and do not know what is going on and the next day we are know it alls? If we remember that Jesus said, as he was dying on the cross, to forgive them because they did not know what they were doing. What a story. How can we match that for forgiveness.

 

If we only had the wisdom we think others should have we could teach them a better way in such a convincing way that they would thank us for the wisdom. Instead there we stand in judgment face to face in ignorance of each other and in ignorance of what needs to be done. We feel better if we forgive them and move on. But we need to remember we are forgiving ourselves too, and by letting us move on they are forgiving us also and mumbling under their breath, forgive them and move on.


February 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Forgivness is like a cleansing balm for the soul. it helps us heal from the wounds people and circumstances cause us. If we don't forgive, we walk in bitterness and resentment. Fear and anger. So many people walk in fear. If I step out in faith and love you, you may hurt me. Fear leads to apathy. It is easier to do nothing.

I like the scripture that says:                                                                                                                  2 tim 1:7 For God has not give us the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind.    

The challenge is how do we utilize that power of love and a sound mind?

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

March 1, 2012 at 4:24 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

How to utilize that power of love and sound mind is what my websites and blogs are about.  I am still in the process of working on them all but the secret is to balance all our widgets (human traits that make up our personalities and responses to life). I call the widgets Ant and Bee (for perception of details and patterns in the world), Macho and Cuddles (for our scardy cat fear and unconditional love that we see in dogs), Geru (the blue bird that can fly high, a birds eye view, of what is happening and see what beliefs and philosophies will help us plan what to do), and Turtle and Rabbit (our widgets of patience and energy to run our actions and habits at the right pace and time). 

 

When these are balanced we have the clarity of mind to observe and listen, see the emotions of self and others, plan the right actions, and carry them out for most situations to be productive and satisfying. Forgiving others is knowing their widgets may be unbalanced and they can not see clearly what the real situation is nor how to get the situation to work in the best way for self and others.

 

Its a long story, so follow my blogs and webs, see on this web Start Personal Journey above in the navigation bar. It is free tips on strengthening widgets.


March 2, 2012 at 5:37 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

 I think that alot of human emotions are based off fear. Dr Ruth, do you think that is true and what emotions can truely be denominated down to fear? 

 

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 2, 2012 at 11:25 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Fear can be a blessing or a curse. It saves us from many a tragedy yet can spin us into the worst of tragedies. It is instinct and can be learned. When fear is the dominant trait, often called paranoia, it will begin to direct our perceptions to look for its defined dangers, stop our love if it is seen as weakness, find belief systems to build itself on, and take defensive actions. Once the defense system is activated people will deceive, be greedy, justify or blame, and become aggressive.

 

But it is true of any of our traits. People who just want to use only their senses and take in the sights and events can stop fear from seeing bad consequences, stop love or empathy that could stop our addiction to seeking new sights and sounds, build beliefs that is is ok to ignore others to do so, and we may only wander around taking in the sights and sounds, and if we get defensive we will decisive others, be greedy, justify, and perhaps defend ourselves the right to be wanderer by aggressive acts.

 

Some people do the same with thinking, intellectualizing their way through life without fear, empathy, reason, or good works, and again may deceive, be greedy with their time, justify, and be aggressive to others.

 

Then there are the people that only want to do physical things, games or addictions. We can fill in the blanks with their behaviors too. The lesson to learn is that we need to balance out our traits to fit the environment we are in to help ourselves and others lead a more happy and productive life.


May 2, 2012 at 1:49 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

You didn't answer my question. Can  you take emotion like anger and ask the question what is this person arfaid of? To try to make sence of their defensiveness or emotion?

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 2, 2012 at 5:10 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or hurt, or the pain of fear, fear that pain will continue. But it can be circular thinking to assign fear as he basis of other emotions. 

 

If you want to make everything fear you could say that the hurt has a fear element, the fear that you will not apologize and therefor fear of more hurt. Can we have fear with out the element of hurt and pain? Or can we have pain without the possibility of pleasure? Do they not define each other?

 

But if you want fear to be the base of a lot of emotions you could again say joy carries a fear of it ending, greed that you fear you will not be able to be greedy all the time, or that you will loose out to someone else's greed, love could be seen as the opposite of fear. If you want to get really involved in the fear hypothesis you can say we all fear that we may not survive, and therefor fear is at the base of it all. 

 

But those with half full glasses instead of half empty would say the zest for life is at the bases of most all emotions, what is there to fear if you do not thirst for the positive of life. What is death if life does not exist. Cursed are those who live as they must die. Death is defeated by new life. Is suicide the defiance of the fear of death or of a life of pain?

 

Yes fear plays a big role in emotions and defensiveness, and so does other emotions, for fear can not stand alone. Perhaps a lot of people have more fear of fear then of what they are first afraid of. Have I answered you question, or are you looking for a concrete answer and not philosophical? Fear is a word we invented to try and describe a lot of chemical reactions in the brain that occur in different combinations depending on different situations and different people. So it is hard to say it is the basis of anything, and the brain in not consistent in its chemical reactions.

Don't be angry at me for fear I have evaded your question and left you with out satisfaction.

May 3, 2012 at 1:12 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Yes your answer helped and no I am not angry. I just wanted you to clairfy your philosophy.

Some emotions just seem to over power people's lives. They allow their emotions to dominate their thinking and they resist change and advice. It is like their mind is so happy with the unhappy emotions that they want to stay where they are. People are to complex!

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 7, 2012 at 9:30 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Actually people are fairly simple, the Lower Nature the most simple and predictable. Forensic science takes advantage of this fact to find criminals. But it is much much harder to finger out what the next technology or invention will be and by who. It could be done by a brilliant scientist or by a kid in their garage.

 

Some people, like brilliant nurds, see more detail then others, some are more emotional, some are planners, and others doers. But they tend to be that way consistently, so if we take note of how people are on these four traits we can begin to predict better how they will react to something. How they were raised gives us more predictability, how they were educated or their beliefs give us even more predictability, and the best predictor of how someone will act is how they have acted in the past, and a jock is a jock and love to play sports.

 

People can be born with, raised to, learn to, or get into habits of action. So look at the patterns from these four steps and you will begin to predict better what others will do or say.


May 7, 2012 at 12:45 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

What four steps?

 

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 9, 2012 at 10:47 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

The four steps or stages of the brain: We perceive, We evaluate with emotions if it is danger or useful, we plan how to act on it, and we act. These four steps are influenced by biology or genetics, by the way we are raised, by out beliefs, and by our habits and skills. People can be born with, raised to, learn to, or get into habits of action. So look at the patters from these four steps and you will begin to predict better what other will do or say. Were they born with an eye for detail, were they raised to be loving, do they believe in others, are they courteous?


Look at their biology, their family life, what they have learned such as education and religion, and look at what they have done and are capable of. 



May 10, 2012 at 2:14 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Sounds great. If only we would do it. Talking about family.:

Family

Sometimes family can be fun,                                                                                                                                                                   Sometimes they can be frustrating,                                                                                                                                                         sometimes they show favoritism,                                                                                                                                                      sometimes they fight (or all the time)                                                                                                                                                    some times they fail,                                                                                                                                                                                   But, Blood is thicker than water.                                                                                                                                                                  As adults, Allow your family to become friends                                                                                                                                     Through forgivness and fortitude we will learn to love and be family.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND FATHER'S DAY. HAPPY GRANDPARENT DAY AND HAPPY FAMILY DAY...BE HAPPY.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 14, 2012 at 11:10 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

You mention they fight all the time? That is a lot of forgiveness and fortitude. Looking at their four stages of the brain and their personalities and then look at why, do you think, they fight? If you can see why they fight you can do something about it, you can begin to change their interactions. Lets look at it, that is if you trust me. If you do not trust me then look at your own personality and as to why you do not trust me. 

May 15, 2012 at 11:39 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

O brother, are you telling me that we can stop our family from fighting... that sounds crazy. You can change your own thoughts and feelings but not the lower brains of your family members.

If family fights all the time it takes a lot of forgivness and fortitude. other wise we would just throw in the towel and never have anything to do with them again.

O Brother. Family.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 16, 2012 at 2:39 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567
You can not stop your family from fighting each other but you can stop them from fighting with you. You can sometimes influence their responses to each other.
May 18, 2012 at 9:32 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

I disagree with you about  influencing the others response. You cannot influence their responses. The only control you have is your own responses. If a family member has no  natural empathy, you cannot make them respond to you with love and understanding. It might make "YOU" angry that they don't respond with caring and understanding but it won't change them.  It will only exacerbate(Make worse, Make very annoyed or frustrated) the conversation or situation. The only thing you can do control your own emotional response.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

May 21, 2012 at 11:58 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

By controlling your responses it influences their responses. Yell and they will escalate, do not or be nurturing and they will react differently. But by trial and error, mostly error so don't get discouraged, we learn what will work. You are a very clever person, you come up with lots of stuff to think about. It is odd that you have given up on this subject. Perhaps, and I say this with humility and trepidation, but perhaps you are in a habit or style of communication with your family that is defunct and signals non cooperation. A stranger may get better results until they fall into the same pattern of communication that they have. Can you think about the pattern that they use and we could look at it to see the pitfalls to avoid?

May 21, 2012 at 3:49 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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