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Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Tell us about your new business adventure. Since you are being read by others I can not answer for them, but it can be disappointing when you disappear because we anticipate your responses. Yes we are blind when using media technology, even Skype is less then the real deal. We figure in our sense of smell, perhaps smell of emotions as chemicals from the brain come out our pores, even though we may be unaware of it, and touch, even if we only tough with the stark reality of seeing the vivid textures in the other person's being and clothes. All our senses working together in harmony is a richer experience then technology can or perhaps will ever be able to convey. There may also be the interaction of brain waves of two people when in proximity since the magnetic waves go beyond our skulls. Even being in the real close proximity to the other has a different effect them being farther away.

 

My blogs, start with psychotoons.blogspot.com, are about looking at your personality so you can begin to recognize your patterns and those of others. All six blogs are linked together and each list the link to my personality test at psychotoonspersonalitytest.blogspot.com. Take the personality test to see which of your widgets, or personality traits, stand out. The most helpful personalities will find their widgets are balanced and strong in the Upper Nature and Lower Natue but the Lower Nature ones should not be as strong or active unless one is truely under distress. This web site here under Personal Journey above in the navigation bar begins to help you look at improving the helpful widgets or traits and how to begin to subdue the unhelpful traits.

 

Take a look at these and then ask me your questions that the above does not answer or that lead you to more in-depth questions. Or tell me you don't want to and we will go from there.  But tell me why if you do not want to as that can show a pattern.


October 22, 2012 at 10:11 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Maybe you can help me with one of my sisters. This sister is so controlling that if you ask her for help, she takes over and feel justified for doing so.   As the saying goes: "give her an inch and she will take a mile"  Everybody in her life seems to dislike her.  She will ask me for advice and I will give it but then she turns and does the opposite (freewill as you call it) She so much wants to be loved that she fights everybody for it. It is a vicious cycle and they dislike her more. How can I help her understand what she is doing so she can change her behaviors? Or is it inborn personality which can not be altered no matter what one says? Sometimes, I am ready to give up on her too. Which part of your personality profile/character do you think she is?

If I am busy, the computer is the last thing on my mind.  I hate computers. You hit a button and it works. The next time you go to do the same task, it doesn't work. It is just down right frustrating.  With my short term memory, I'm lucky if I remember what day it is. If I ever got into a car accident and they asked me what day it was, I would just lay there and look at them. They would probabbly think I was comatose or brain damaged. What can I say? Others may not understand, but I have come to the point that I don't worry about what people think any more.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

October 23, 2012 at 11:41 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Member
Posts: 259

That seems like a lot and over whelming, can't you make it simpler? I am too lazy, and maybe that is a pattern. So if I can not escape my lazy patterns how can I ever get over it? Do you think I am too lazy? Or do you think I am not intelligent enough? I am not sure what to do to overcome my pattern of lazy. How do I get out of it and approach your ideas? How do I make it easier? I am really feeling frustrated. How should I approach this. No judgement on your efforts but what next?

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October 23, 2012 at 1:56 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Let me answer Joyful messenger first. Lets look at this and give your sister a profile first, a quick assessment, or hypothesis of her problem. I will look at her Upper and Lower Natures by the four steps, perception, emotions, thoughts, and actions.

 

She sounds like she does not have a clue. She does not see others for who they are, so her perceptions, Ant and Bee, are weak. Her fear, Macho, is high so she tries to control. Her heart, Cuddles, is low so she does not back off. Her patience, Turtle, is low and her action, Rabbit, is hight. My hunch is she is manic, or bi-polar. That is the Upper Nature. The Lower Nature is next. I do not know if she lies, but certainly she is greedy, at least greedy of the time and circumstances. She has a certain rationalizing that her way is better, but not sure how strong that is and she sounds like a bully. But I do not know how dishonest she is. The childhood may have set her up for being a bully to survive and there is where it sounds like she dwells.

 

 

Once I have a better idea how see sees, feels, thinks, and acts, I would work on her Upper Nature to strenghten it to better control the Lower Nature. I would work on her observation of others and help her see what people are about so she does not fear them and maybe has a heart for them. We have to start where she is, not over talk her. We have to improve on her observations and feelings. Also, all of her rationalization and thoughts, that have entangled her to justify being a bully, need to be carefully untangled. I say carefully because she is defensive. She will only let them go if she feels it is to her advantage to do so.

 

After she has more control and willing to listen, I would begin to discuss her bi-polar tendencies and how to get them under control with diet and other techniques or even medication if she would consider it and if other methods do not work. If you remember you can not do anything unless she is willing, then you see where she will let you in to her inner world, Upper or Lower Nature.

 

She is your sister so you have the advantage of knowing her and her childhood and you may have some trust. But remember that you may have some of the same controlling tendencies from having near the same childhood and so if you both try and control it will only explode. She may feed on your Lower Nature reactions.

 

Has this been of help? Do you want to elaborate on certain of her perceptions, feelings, thoughts, or actions?


October 24, 2012 at 10:34 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

Lazy is another way of saying discouraged. Something in your past, probably childhood, may have discouraged you from being curious and looking into new things. It could be present if it is a time thing, if you are stressed out and feel you do not have enough time to be naturally curious and take the time to explore things.

 

The first explanation would warrant looking into your past, the second looking at the present, and the best of both worlds is to look at both present and past to see if from the past discouragements you perceive time and stress as more threatening then they really are. I will let you answer this and then we can go on.

October 24, 2012 at 10:49 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Posts: 259

It is time. There never seems to be enough of it. It flies by, I get up and before the house is straightened and breakfast over with it is time for lunch. Before the few chores I have are done the kids get home from school. They have their homework and they want my time. And those are the days I don't work. The days I go to work are even faster. I don't get home until almost dinner, and of course, I have to fix it and clean up afterwords. I think the ancients created better arts and literature then we do because they had more time. Where am I to find the time? When there are small blocks of free time I am lazy.

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October 25, 2012 at 10:15 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

Lets look at time as an object or as space. If we have a drawer full of stuff that is all mixed up, entangled, things sticking this way and that, the drawer seems very full, no room left. But if we organize the drawer, pack things tightly we will soon have a lot more room. So it is with time. Lets say you want to do a project, create or build something. What we usually do is run here and there, and if we see a bit of free time we stand stymied feeling there is no time to do it, no tools, no fun, no plans, no opportunity. We just do not have enough time in that moment to do squat.

 

Now lets look at time with the four stages of the brain, perception, emotions, thinking, and actions we can reorganize time to give us more time. Lets throw in the Upper Nature and then the Lower Nature too. So the first stage is like the space in the drawer, we have to see where we may have more time, bits and pieces here and there, ten minutes in the morning before getting out of bed to perhaps think, or thinking while we are driving the kids to school. It is potentially useful time. So we have to see what, where, and when the potential is.

 

Now lets look at emotions, fear and love. If we get fearful that we do not have enough time we begin to get anxious, and we loose sight of those nib bits of time we have but have not organized into useful space yet. Our time is spent in worry or anguish. Now the other side of the coin is passion, if we have passion for something we seem to always find more time to do it, be it tea time, coffee making, the morning paper, a great TV show. I am not saying we give them up, but they are often time that can be organized a bit differently.

 

Next is thinking time. It is when we look at the maps of time we see, and we reorganize in our mind. We have tons of thinking time if it is not spent in unproductive thoughts of trivia, anxiety, other peoples dreams, or regretting that we have no means of bringing our plans to reality.

 

If we look at the Lower Nature. If we lie to self and others about what bits and pieces of time is there to organize, or if we are too greedy about things that eat up our time, such as addictions, or if we justify our lack of time as unchangeable, or blame others for taking it, or if we are just bullies and thrash away our time in useless routines, then we will feel we have no time.

 

Now lets look at Dragon or Mr. Do. Dragon will make life hell on earth for self and others. Just fighting and wasting time. But Mr/Ms Do is our consciousness that makes choices. The choice is to Stop, look for bits and pieces of time, make it fun and enjoyable to think about how to use time more wisely, choose to plan, and start routines that will utilize the time wisely.

 

So lets say you want more time to create or build something. So you look around for those bits and pieces of tangled time. You have time to think as you wake up, time to think in the shower, on the way to taking the kids to school and back, while you are in line at the store, etc. What do you do with that time? You rehearse how you are going to gather, enjoy, plans, and build that project, the materials needed, the tools, the blueprints, and the skills. So as you are cleaning the house you gather your tools, put on inspiring music, take a few minutes to research on the internet for blueprints, and maybe, just maybe, sneak a moment to begin to work on a tiny bit of your project. Once you do that it becomes easier to put it all together and organize time and your world around your project.

October 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Posts: 259

I get it. I feel pressed for time because I fill it with things to do that I do not really want to do. I am so frustrated and feeling urgency to do what I want that time seems short. So there I sit and do nothing, or routinely go through the day feeling unfulfilled. But now I have forgotten that great thing I want to do. Its been so long. How do I find it again. I use to dream and plan and rehearse it in my mind. I think it changed over the years. I was going to be a ballerina, then a nurse, a writer, a teacher, a…..ah, somewhere I stopped dreaming and it faded away. I got married, had kids, pleased everyone, and forgot to dream. Its been a good life, but I want more. I tried to get my husband to fulfill me and that was a disaster, pitiful actually, almost divorced him over it. Then the kids got older and didn't seem to need me as much. Do I sound like the typical woman of today? So what the blank do we do about it?

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October 30, 2012 at 9:56 AM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

It seems when we do have a dream or a goal, and we share it with people we love or trust they will shoot it down. They will say things like "It won't work, You don't have the strengh, you dont, have the skills, it will be too hard on your body etc etc,,.Finally after sharing your dream and listening to the negative imput of others, it seems if you have no hope left and so you do nothing with your dream or goal and eventuallly time will  fade it away. The only feeling of hope you have left is a sence of bitterness.  I know the feeling. Everytime I have ever shared an idea or dream, I never one time have had encouragement. Yeah! Try it!Go for it girl. It is really discouraging! How do we overcome their words? I'm not sure either.  

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

October 30, 2012 at 12:50 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Let me answer Real Sisters first. 

Yes, what you are feeling is very common and perhaps the destroyer of many of a marriage. If people look to their spouse or significant other to meet all their needs they will be disappointed as their partner is in the same boat. But what you need to do is find a way to fulfill your need for purposeful living. That will look different for each person. You basically have to start dreaming again, let the mind drift off into possibilities. You can also look at your talents, abilities, and accomplishments what you really enjoy doing. Passions, where are your passions. One thing many people do is enter college and take a variety of classes to see what grabs them. It can be expensive and time consuming, that is why it is usually kids going to college, they have the time for college and for paying back their loans. If you are over 65 most Jr. Colleges and some colleges let you take classes free if you do not ask for credit. It is a good way to explore whats out there. Colleges and Jr. Colleges and Universities often will test your interests for free. So dream on and explore with classes and books and the internet what may interest you. For some people it is volunteering for a charity or a cause. Some it is writing a blog or forum, hmmmmmm, or other such activity. Start and tell me how it goes.


October 31, 2012 at 12:20 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

Joyful Messenger, it sounds like you take things way to personally. Someone's opinion is just that, an opinion. Consider the source, if it is your siblings that are fighting all the time, or your parents who are too into their own world to see yours, or a friend who has no ideas of what would work, why get discouraged. Go ahead and do what it is you think will work. I have told you before that you seem like a very cleaver person. By the way, I have encouraged you in these forums, have I not? Are you disregarding that? If so, you need to look at your own discouragement, you may be the main person discouraging you. If you begin a project you will discover the real limits to your plans and how to overcome a lot of them. You will find a way. Let me repeat myself, you are very clever, you will find a way. So tell me what some of your dreams are? Let me encourage you.

October 31, 2012 at 12:39 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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Posts: 259

I have thought about what you said, I love to do crafts, arts, write, and read romance novels. But I feel like they are not that important. Again, I am back to no time, I have to prioritize. Its the rat race, I can't get out of it. Yes, I see where I feel time is shorter then it is, but, but, but, I guess I feel I must go on and I guess I 'feel' my way through life. The feeling freezes me, stops me in my tracks and subdues me after all is said and done. If I do not do my routines everything will fall apart. Others depend on me. I feel, well, I feel trapped. It is easier said then done syndrome, I just can't see beyond the moment and at the moment I must stop writing and run back to the rat race. Any suggestions?

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November 2, 2012 at 12:30 PM Flag Quote & Reply

A Joyful Messenger
Member
Posts: 296

Taking things way to personally? When you share your thoughts with a friend, when you value that friends opinion, and you tell them your thought and they shoot it down, it is discouraging. For years I would share a new idea that I would like to try..say like getting a commercial truck licence and for years my friend would tell me why it wouldn't work. I gave up on the idea. Every now and again I will think of a new idea and again share it with people I trust and something negative is always said. I don't get it. You can talk to a total stranger and they will tell you why not to do something.  Why do people look on the negative?

The Bible says that Life and Death are in the power of the tounge. I hope when people share with me their dream or hope, I want to speak words of life to them.

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**JOYFUL MESSENGER

November 2, 2012 at 12:54 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

Let me answer Realsisters2 first. You say your passions are not important, or not as important as the urgency of the rat race. But would you deny the pleasures of the soul and mind to your loved ones? And you are the main teacher of your children on how to live and develop the mind and soul. You do not want to condemn them to the rat race. So you must show them how not to get trapped.

 

 

One way to get out of the rat race is to just start doing the things you love in any moment of free time you find. Mornings before getting out of bed and before turning out the light at night can be a good beginning. Once you begin to do those things your perceptions, emotions, thoughts, and actions will begin to center more around your passions and it will be quicker and easier to do new and ongoing projects. A lot of time is needed to do something new, to start new routines, so it seems there is no time. But when they become routines also it is easy to get a lot of fun work done in a short time and gain a lot of encouragement and energy. When we are happy everything else is so much easier, even rat race routines. But if we feel trapped our mind and body begin to shut down and time becomes painful.

 

Start dreaming so your children do not stop dreaming, and teach them how to unleash their natural creativity. Show them how to enjoy life.

November 5, 2012 at 9:34 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

When looking at discouraging situations we need to look at four things. Society, friends, You, and the situation itself.

You are telling me that the greater society of strangers are positive. That suggest that people in general are not so negative. But your friends are negative, that could mean you pick negative friends or that they know you and so feel your plans will not work?

Then there is you, are you perceiving friends as negative, do you have more negative reactions with friends, are you more critical of them then you are of strangers,? Do you do more or less activities with friends then by yourself?

Then there is the situations, how do the situations differ with friends then with strangers? What are the patterns? It may be that people and you are not so negative in general but in more specific situations. Why do you let others stop you from proceeding with your plans?

People may not be looking at the negative but not know if things well work or well not work for who they perceive you to be. Perhaps it is you they feel will not 'work' under certain situations. Or perhaps they were ignorant of the circumstances , people can be mistaken, even in their judgement of you. These are not easy questions to answer until you look at the perceptions, emotions, beliefs, and actions of self and others under different situations.

Just throwing out another question. Perhaps when your friends suggest things you could do you might be negative about their suggestions so they feel you will not react well to your own suggestions? Which comes first the chicken or the egg they put on your face? Please do not take this in a negative way, I just wonder why you do not just proceed with your plans? What are your plans?

November 5, 2012 at 10:04 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Posts: 259

Out of pure desperation I started sculpturing, yes, sculpting with clay. I am good at it. It surprised me. Maybe my hands are more talented then I thought. I got pleasure form it, felt better, got more other work done. You know, I think you may be right about passions helping us get more stuff done. But, when will it lead to a better life style or to huge changes in my life? And how? It feel good, and so do I but when will it get me out of the rat race, I mean really out.

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November 6, 2012 at 12:12 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

 

Sounds like a good start. Listen to your reactions as you do things you enjoy. As you become more aware of your body, emotions, mind, and spirit to act you will be able to condition yourself to do more and more things you enjoy without giving up the responsibilities of life. In other words you will learn to juggle at a faster and more accurate rate and feel more relaxed and able to get it all done without feeling trapped. That will be when the rat race ends and you have control of your life and happiness.

Then you will begin to feel the big change in life as you take care of daily tasks yet build on your own dreams and future. As you are building, rather then trying to just keep up with the mundane, you will gain more and more of a sense of who you really are and complete more and more of what you really want to do and accomplish. As your dreams grow in reality the pain of the mundane shrinks. Eventually you will want to do mundane things to give yourself rests from the passions. We all have limits and want to balance the passions and mundane tasks so we are not in a rat race of the mundane nor in a rat race of the passions. Does that make sense?


November 7, 2012 at 10:49 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Posts: 259

I think it is beginning to work, at least I have some relief. I will give it time. But my question is how do I get a larger passion, a life changing passion, a worthy passion. I often feel my life is mundane, I want to do something I would be proud of. I love my children, husband, relatives, and friends but I want to do more then just take care of them. I love doing for them, but I want more. How do I go about getting a meaningful life, beyond the routines.

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November 8, 2012 at 12:33 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ruth Currah
Site Owner
Posts: 567

The greatest commissions are helping humanity, furthering a science (which helps humanity), or helping animals and other humans to a better life. Meaningful is what helps us connect to the whole, to nature and survival of the earth and its creatures. Sin is defined by what doesn't work, what destroys life. That is a broad definition but inside it is an infinite number of projects. The one for you is the one that encompasses your passions and helps others also. So lets say you are an artist, what do you create? How does it help others in their endeavor to find their passions and in turn help others. For some that is being a devout monk, for others a superstar. But always what is the message you are giving to others, to all the beautiful children of the earth trying to find their way. Is your message damaging or helpful. We are a herd animal, when we help the herd we feel it is meaningful, when we only hurt the human race we feel disturbed and others are hurt by us. What is your dreams, ambitions, or passions that will connect you to others? 

November 9, 2012 at 10:46 AM Flag Quote & Reply

[email protected]
Member
Posts: 259

So I should sculpture something meaningful. I have been sculpturing my children. That is meaningful to me. But is it meaningful to others? They are my children so to me they are beautiful. But what makes them beautiful to others? I am not enamored by other peoples children. I am not cold but I am not sure I would want to gaze upon sculptures of others peoples kids. But my own I would. So I think of my art as my own meaningfulness. If I want to adventure out into the 'herd,' as you put it, to be more meaningful, what the heck would I do differently?

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November 12, 2012 at 10:16 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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